


Harden Your Heart

by Xelanna



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Betrayal, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-14
Updated: 2017-02-14
Packaged: 2018-09-24 06:51:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9709115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xelanna/pseuds/Xelanna
Summary: Ellana Lavellan never forgets his betrayal. She vows to show him a way to fix his mistake without destroying her people, but when time runs out she finds their roles reversed. The betrayed becomes the betrayer and time is bought with backstabbing and pretty lies. Will she be able to finish what she started, save her people, and bring back what they once had?[post-trespasser] [un-beta'ed] [first-fic]





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is currently a concept piece and one-shot. Depending on reception I might expand upon it.
> 
> Edit: I've written a few more chapters, if the plot keeps flowing, I'll keep goin!
> 
> Edit 2: I've decided to rewrite the first few chapters and continue writing, but it will be slow going while I get a few chapters ahead so that I can post regularly.

* * *

 

Ellana knew something would happen that day.

 

She knew from the lack of sound the birds made in the morning, and from the way the crickets seemed to whisper as if in anticipation of the night.

 

She watched the city with tired green eyes, dark circles like puddles in cobblestone making her face look more ashen than she wanted to admit she truly was. Time had been kind, and the only lines to be found on her face were carved by smiles and laughter, memories of a time when things seemed simple.

 

Ellana sighed, her weariness weighing her head down until her chin touched her chest and her eyes fell closed, her hands gripping the cold marble balcony ledge. She had endured a century to get to this moment, and now that it had arrived she wanted to be forced to endure another simply to save herself from the guilt and grief that coiled deep in her belly.

 

She could hear the voices in the stairwell behind her already. Agitated. Worried.

 

They had planned for this, they knew what needed to be done. Ellana winced as she felt her teeth grinding together, and she forced her jaw to relax. Her mind was racing, trying to find another way in the moments she had, even though she knew that if she had not been able to come up with a solution in the past century she surely wouldn’t find one now.

 

The door to the stairs creaked open, and she was grateful that her company had the decency to stop arguing and fall silent as they filtered into the tower room. Her weight on her arms, her palms laid flat on the balcony ledge she knew with her head hung low that she did not project the confidence and leadership they expected of her, but she could not muster the will to care. Breathing deeply of the cool night air she pulled back her shoulders and stood straight, her hands smoothing over her tunic and tucking a strand of silver hair behind her ear as she turned and regarded her silent company.

 

They stood in a semi-circle around the stone pedestal in the center of the tower room, all of them trying desperately not to look too worried, or in some cases excited. She didn’t blame them for their emotions. How could she when she knew two of them would be sung into the endless sleep by the time the sun rose.

 

She stepped forward to join their circle, allowing herself to look down at the object that lay in pieces on the pedestal. Fen’Harel’s orb. She stared at it a moment - remembering how the green light once flickered in the veins carved like a fingerprint on it - before lifting her gaze to meet the eyes of her company.

 

Breathing deeply she addressed them, “Thank you, trusted advisors for joining me on such short notice.” she said gently, meeting their eyes and smiling softly.

 

“I know you are all aware of the Eternal Guards return to the city this afternoon, as is most of the city.” She had been alerted to their return herself by the cheers of the people in the market streets surrounding the central city building. “I want to impress upon you all how important it is that we follow the plan put in place a century ago. It is imperative that we do not deviate, and we act swiftly and decisively.” At this she stepped forward, reaching out to gather up the pieces of the orb into a semblance of their original shape. “As soon as the orb is activated I will begin the process of tearing down the veil.”

* * *

 


	2. Unlocking the orb

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ellana follows the plan, knowing that nothing can prepare her for the emotions she will have to face.

“As soon as the orb is activated I will begin the process of tearing down the veil.”

Ellana did not look up to take in her advisors expressions. Emotions were secondary to their task and she had chosen them because she knew they were strong enough for the task.

“When we reach the temple I implore you to focus on the task at hand. Fen’Harel will no doubt attempt to stop us.” Ellana held the orb securely in both hands, pressed tight to her stomach.  
“Remember that he is too weak to stop us as he has only just woken. He is a key, nothing more.”

The advisors were nodding, lips pursed and eyes shining with anticipation and excitement. She looked at them one by one, 4 men and 2 women, strong in will and in magic and ready to give their lives for their cause.

“All right, it is time. Let us go now.” Ellana passed by them to the doorway, descending quickly down the polished stone steps. They made no sound as they processed down into a hall lined with columns covered in vines towards a large archway. Passing through the archway they overlooked the city for a moment before they began to ascend the sloping stairway into the city. Their path turned to cobblestone as they wound their way through empty city streets, the people having long since gone to sleep. The group continued their straight path through the city until they reached a building made of polished white stone, and ascended its steps. Through another archway and into a vast cavernous room with no ceiling they went silently, veilfire torches blinking to life as Ellana passed. Her advisors stood silently behind her when she abruptly stopped.

Before them stood a dozen men clothed in gleaming armor, masks covering all but their eyes. One stood before Ellana and spoke quietly, “Keeper, I have brought the era’fen to you as requested.” he bowed his head in a gesture of respect and stepped aside, revealing his charge.

Ellana had imagined this moment for over a century, yet she still wasn’t prepared for the way her heart clanged in her chest at the sight of him. He was sitting with his back to a stone dais, his head was resting on his knees which were drawn up to his chest, and his hands gripped his elbows hard enough to make his knuckles white. If not for the sight of his familiar hands, she might have doubted it was him. His head was no longer bald, a century of sleep having given him a modest amount of auburn hair. She noticed that it was neatly braided and draped over his shoulder, and she realized that he was wearing clean clothes that the guard must have provided when he woke. She regarded him stoically, fighting the emotions that tried to well to the surface and show in her face. Silently she stepped forward, ignoring the worried glances of her advisors as she came to within a few feet of the dreamer, her former lover, Fen’Harel.

Years later she would think back with pride how she managed not to jump out of her skin when he lifted his head and locked stormy blue eyes with her own, but in the moment all she could think of was how the look in his eyes flashed quickly from rage to confusion and then finally to betrayal. She watched as this man who had once seemed to have an answer to every question she asked searched for words and found none. She felt her heart break when his eyes clouded over with the unmistakable sheen of unshed tears.

She heard his words again in her mind, “Harden your heart to a cutting edge…” and so she did. Blinking away the moisture in her eyes she composed herself with a deep breath before speaking. “Fen’Harel, you are brought here to witness the fruition of the plans you set in motion a century ago.” Ellana spoke clearly but refused to meet his eyes, though she could not help the pang of regret that shot through her when she saw his eyes widen with surprise.  
“You sought to tear down the veil, and I begged you not to destroy this world and the life the people had created. I swore to you that I would find another way, and so I have.” Ellana extended her hands, the orb held precariously together only by her grip.  
“I ask you now to lend me your power so that I might undo the mistake you made.” At this statement she forced herself to look into his eyes, steeling herself for his rejection. She did not want to force his hand, but she was prepared for the possibility.

It took him a moment to find his voice, and when he did it was hoarse and weak with disuse. “What would you have me do?” He looked at her still with the sting of betrayal in his eyes, but beneath it she could see that he was weary. Ellana gestured with a nod of her head to the orb in her palms. “Place your hands on the orb.” She held her breath as hi hands came up slowly, shaking to rest on the orb, his fingers overlapping her own. Forcing herself to breath deeply she looked slightly over her shoulder to her advisors and they fell into position around the dais, hands outstretched towards the orb.

The heady perfume of magic began to fill the space around the orb, and Ellana found herself shaking her head slightly and blinking to bring the orb into focus. She looked up and met his eyes before quickly looking away, “Do not let go until it is done, and do not interfere.” she said sternly as she began to harness the power swirling around them.

Ellana channeled the energy steadily into the stone orb in her hands, waiting for the spark that would mean their plan had worked. All of their plans until now hinged on Fen’Harel being the key needed to unlock the orb. It felt like years had passed when she finally felt a heat in her palms, she probed the source and found a smoldering ember of old magic deep within the dormant stone of the orb. She channeled the power flowing through as one would blow air into an ember to create a flame and felt as the heat surged in her hands. A grin split her face as she began to steadily pour magic into the flame, her hands beginning to sting from the heat of the stone orb. She chanced a glance at Fen’Harel, and saw that his eyes were wide and focused on the orb. She nodded sharply to her advisors and felt a deluge of magic washing over her, nearly knocking her off her feet. She stumbled, but Fen’Harels hands over hers kept her steady and connected to the orb. She focused on steadily transferring the magic into the orb, knitting together the stone surface until it was whole again. She almost sobbed aloud when the swirling grooves on its surface began to pulse with a familiar green glow, at the same time her advisors began to slow their transferal of magic.

Ellana took what was left of the ambient magic around the orb and tucked it neatly inside the core, a swirling vortex of power locked beneath the surface. She knows it is not as powerful as when she first touched the orb, but it is whole again and that is all that has mattered to her for a long time. Wavering on her feet as the last dregs of magic dissipate and the cool night air washes over her sweat slicked skin, she feels armored hands on her back supporting her. She blinks and looks around, her hands still locked around the orb. Fen’harel still has his hands over hers, his eyes are glossy with tears but there is a faint smile on his face. He looks up at her as she wilts, the green light of the orb reflecting in his eyes. She cannot help but smile gently at the hope in his eyes, she manages to speak though. “You can let go now.”

She expects his hesitation, but is pleasantly surprised when he slowly pulls his hands away, holding them aloft as if afraid to touch anything else. She pulls the orb close, tucking it to her chest as she allows the armored men to gently stand her up. She wavers a moment but stands, breathing deeply and looking around the room at the others.

“Thank you all, we have accomplished the first step to fixing our world. I believe we all need to rest before we continue. Return to your families,” she looks to the two eldest male advisors, “hold them close and prepare them for what will come tomorrow.”

The Advisors nod and murmur their thanks before quietly exiting the temple, leaving her with the armored guards and Fen’Harel. Before she has a chance to, Fen’Harel speaks.

“I underestimated you.” He says it quietly, his eyes trying to meet hers. “I admit I did not think you would succeed in stopping me.” Ellana resisted the urge to make a derisive comment.

“I remember once you commented on my indomitable will. Surely you can’t be that surprised.” Her comment makes him laugh breathily, and she see’s him hesitating in his response.

“I suppose you will put me back to sleep now that the orb is unlocked to you.” He does his best to mask his emotions as he says it, but she hears the hurt laced in his words. She cannot meet his eyes.

“I had no choice, you know that. I needed more time and you would not listen. I did what I had to do for my people.” She feels the old anger welling up as she says it and knows she won’t be able to hold back much longer. To her surprise he only smiles sadly at her and gently murmurs, “I know, I was wrong and I should have listened to you.”

For a moment she thinks she heard him wrong, her head is beginning to feel heavy and whatever adrenaline had been running through her body runs out as she crumples to the ground. She is unconscious before she hits the stone floor, unable to hear him whispering “Vhenan…” when he catches her.


	3. Ma Halani

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where the deception began anew.

_100 years ago_

 

The quiet hum of hundreds of hushed voices mixed with the sound of the leaves shifting in the canopy overhead. Hundreds of eyes glinting in the dark, reflecting only the scant moonlight filtering down to the forest floor.  A small group of elves crouched apart from the rest, four heads bowed low so that their voices did not travel.

Ellana was among them, and she spoke with authority and determination. “We surrender to his forces peacefully, and we let ourselves be split up.” On her left a man opens his mouth with a snarl but she cuts him off. “Gethlen I know you disagree, but it is the only way to gain their trust and infiltrate as much of their camp as possible. We only have five days until the solstice.”

The elfs teeth click shut, but Ellana can see in the glint of his eyes and the set of his jaw that he did not agree. A womans voice drew her eyes to another in the circle. “Keeper are you sure one of us shouldn’t stay with you, I know you manage well but with your arm…” She trailed off into a whisper, and Ellana saw her struggle not to glance at her arm, or rather her lack of one.

 

It had been just over a year since the events at the Exalted Council. The inquisition had publicly disbanded following her announcement, and skyhold had slowly emptied as people returned to their homes and their families. Some resisted, and swore to remain in the inquisitors service, mostly elves that had not vanished shortly after Fen’Harels return. Ellana welcomed their help. She was weak and sick in those first months, aftershocks shaking her in her sleep as her body fought to find a way to cope with the loss of the mark. Her magic was all but useless to her, and she was delirious with pain most nights. The mages that had stayed with her managed her pain as well as they could, but when it came time to assess the damage to her arm they floundered, unsure of what to make of the broken flesh.

 

Her arm had not simply fallen off, it had cracked. The flesh at her elbow was jagged and black, singed by the scars that had spread from her mark as it had tried to consume her. The healers and mages did what they could to remove the dead flesh and purge infection, and though the shocks of pain persisted eventually the skin molded together to become a smooth nub.

Ellana knew however that the loss of her arm had not saved her from its influence. She had seen her magic tinged with the green of the mark, and even now a year later her once blue eyes were steadily becoming green. The power of his mark was still inside of her, killing her slowly.

 

“I will be alright, I doubt they will make me do anything I cannot handle.” She comforted Seva.

“There are enough of us to cover the majority of the camp, unless they put us all in one area in which case we will wait until I can get us distributed. Remember, this is about trust. I know you all come from different clans but you must be unified now, if we fail…” She knew she did not need to remind them of what would happen to their people if they failed to stop Fen’Harel.

 

A comforting hand gripped her shoulder, and she reached across to grasp their hand, squeezing gently and then dropping it. Standing from her crouch, she looks out over the mass of elves huddled in the forest. She could see a few of them had climbed into the tree’s above to scout a distance away, bows drawn and arrows ready to fly. She stops herself with a frown when she began to murmur a prayer to Mythal for their safety. Old habits die hard, but now that she knew the gods were no better than the magisters in Tevinter, enslaving the people she now protected, she could not let herself pray.

 

The hushed voices came to an abrupt silence, and her ears immediately pick up on the unmistakable sound of hooves on fallen leaves. The sound comes closer and she quickly moves to stand ahead of the mass of her people, facing the oncoming riders as they come into view. She hears the sound of bow strings drawn taut in the trees overhead and raises her arm sharply, a warning not to attack. Through the trees she can see first only the great antlers of a hart, their white antlers illuminated by the moonlight filtering down upon them. Glancing over her shoulder she see’s that everyone has crouched down low, and all eyes are turned to her, waiting for her to guide them.

 

Her breath catches in her throat when the first rider comes into view, the familiar glint of gold armor makes a shiver run down her spine but she stands tall. More riders approach, and she can see they have begun to surround the mass of people. Her gut clenches with every surprised gasp and childs whimper that reaches her ears, she prays only to the forest around them that all goes according to plan.

 

The first rider stops and slides from his hart. She cannot see his face but for the glint of his eyes, his hood pulled low over his brow. He approaches, his armor making no sound as he moves. Elanna can hear only the sound of her own blood rushing in her ears, and she fights to keep her eyes ahead. This is the moment that will decide everything.

 

“Garas Quenathra Lavellan.” The rider speaks in Elven, his voice low but clear and somewhat familiar. Breathing deeply, Ellana reaches for the words she must speak.

 

“Telanadas. Ma Halani.” Ellana says the words with as much humility as she can muster, her eartips burning with the shame of it. She has either just doomed them all or saved them.

 

Ellana flinches as the riders hands raise to pull down his hood. She recognizes him immediately as one of the guardians from Mythal’s temple. He scrutinizes her for a moment, searching for deception in her eyes. He seems satisfied when he turns abruptly and mounts his hart. “Ma Nuvenin.” He growls out, turning his hart and beginning a slow walk. Ellana nods her head to the others and they rise quietly, murmuring to each other apprehensively.

  
Leading her people through the forest she hopes that she has made the right decision, and hardens her heart for what, or rather who, she must face next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Garas Quenathra Lavellan : Why are you here / Why have you come.
> 
> Telanadas. Ma Halani : Nothing is inevitable. Help me.
> 
> Ma Nuvenin : As you wish.


End file.
